LDR: How to handle fights?

Fights in a relationship make the relationship strong. This is not something couples should fear of. You should rather fear if your relationship doesn’t undergo any fights. It just means that your relationship comes to the point of cleansing. Imagine a glass of water without being shaken. It is surely housed by mosquitoes and plankton. Our relationship is just the same to that. We need to be shaken in order for us to strengthen more our relationship foundation.

Why do we become annoyed to our partner then?

When we, I and my partner, were in our starting months, I thought that she was perfect, that she was the other me in terms of interest and likes, that our relationship would have no fights, that everything would be full of laughter. But no, she is not me and I am not her. She is a different person I have to understand. She has a personality that yes I am annoyed but I have to accept and understand.

Fights in a relationship come because we look our partner as perfect, as someone who is our alter ego. (Cheating, of course, is another story. I am not talking here about cheating.)

So, how to handle fights? These were what we did to handle our fights.

Set a rule.
We held an agreement that every time we have a misunderstanding in our relationship, we would not end the night without reconciling. We did this one, and hopefully, all the LDR couples also do this. Never end the night with annoyance to your partner. Reconcile first before ending the nightly conversation.

Understand your partner.
As what I have said above mentioned, she is not you and you are not her. Loving is understanding. Love your partner for what she is.

Always say sorry.
Even if it’s not your fault, say sorry to your partner. Saying sorry doesn’t mean that you’re the culprit of your fight, but it is a kind of valuing your relationship.

Stay calm.
Raising your voice will not help but just worsen the fight. Stay calm. Talk when everything is fine. You don’t need to raise your voice. We have enough ears to hear what the other is saying.

Learn from your fight.
The relationship is shaken. You may fight. You may have misunderstanding. But, as what I have said, this is not something you have to fear of. Learn from it instead. Your relationship doesn’t fail. it’s just learning something that doesn’t work.